THE PATH TO INDEPENDENCE
"Our job as parents are to raise our children to become independent." - Aunt Jo.
Image source: Niklas Veenhuis (Unsplash)
Author's note: A couple of weeks ago, I spoke about the path to independence when delivering my Mom's eulogy. Today, I am going to share a few key points from my message, something that took everything out of me when I finished.
Many years ago, my Aunt Jo shared her thoughts in the above quote attributed to her. Although I am not a parent, I drew inspiration from her words of wisdom for the eulogy. Here are my thoughts on the path to independence.
Always do your best
The path to independence asks us always to do our best in every moment of every day. With every encounter we have in life, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what did not go so well. Then, ask yourself the following question, "How can I improve tomorrow on what I did today?"
Take responsibility for your actions
Worry was one of my Mom's hallmark traits, which I believe is a "clause" in the parent contract. For instance, when we kids were still living under her roof, Mom asked us to call home or leave a note to let her know our whereabouts. I did not always do this - that is when the worry kicked in. Unbelievably, Mom fulfilled her parental contract by making phone calls to track down her children, much to our dismay and embarrassment.
The path to independence teaches us that we are not always the most intelligent person in the world, because it is more than about us - it is bigger than that. The lesson learned is to be responsible for your actions towards others and the world at large.
Image source: Samuel Regan-Asante (Unsplash)
Learn from others
Judy and I owned two homes while we lived in Alsip. My stepdad, Ysaul, was always available to help us with home improvement projects - be it landscape design, painting without taping, or laying tile. He is the best stepdad I could have ever asked for. He willingly shared his knowledge.
This lesson on the path to independence teaches us that we do not have to navigate our journey through life alone. We will encounter countless people on our path whose purpose is to teach us what we need to know to become independent. Therefore, learn from others who have walked the path before us, and realize you do not have to do it alone.
Always remember that the path to independence requires us to learn from others, take responsibility, and always strive to do our best—and one more thing. The Indigenous peoples believe that what we do in this lifetime will affect the next seven generations (consider the profound impact of such a statement as a duty to be a responsible person). Thanks, Mom. We will miss you. Until next time -
Namaste,
Tim
PS The following mantra sends a poignant message.
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