STEPPING BACK
Image source: Cody Board (Unsplash)
"In the end, we recognize how simple life is when we accept this moment, just as it is, without pretending to be other than who we are. This is grace in action." - Dr. Richard Miller.
Several weeks ago, I discussed the concept of welcoming, where we meet and greet all that is arising (sensations, emotions, feelings, thoughts, cognitions (memories and images)) just as they are without trying to fix or change them. As I navigate the journey of Integrative Restoration, I recognize that it can be challenging because I am the sum of my conditioning (familial, occupational, and cultural), which can disrupt my ability to be present with life as it is.
What I have learned is that this could take a lifetime because of said conditioning. It will take time, patience, and practice to accept who I am, where I came from, and where I am going. In this post, I will introduce the concept of stepping back to meet what life offers in the moment. For this discussion, I will work with anger as the presenting emotion.
As I discussed previously, anger as an emotion can present first as warmth, then, if unchecked, progress to irritation before it arrives as full-blown anger. When anger arises, we can welcome it in as a piece of art - a statue, if you will. Next, step back and walk around this emotion - what does it look like? Is it sharp, smooth, circular, square, or heavy? Then, step back in and out several times. Anger, like all emotions, thoughts, or cognitions, serves as a messenger that points us to an action that will assist in dissolving what arises in the moment without trying to fix or change it.
Image Source: Content Pixie (Unsplash)
Another way to step back from what arises is to view this anger as a guest that arrives at your front door that you invite in for a cup of tea and a discussion. Then ask yourself a couple of questions. Am I comfortable sitting with this emotion? Is it comfortable sitting in my presence? Observe what arises without trying to fix or change it. Ask your "guest" the following questions: "What do you want from me?" "What action are you asking me to take?" The practice of Integrative Restoration (iRest) teaches that each emotion will arrive paired with the appropriate response.
Whether you step back and observe as a piece of art or invite anger in for tea and conversation, note where this emotion lands in your body. It will sit in a similar location each time it arrives at your front door. Greet and respond from the position of loving-kindness and compassion towards yourself, and then others in kind. With practice, it is possible to interrupt an emotional hijacking with grace. You can apply these tools to both adverse experiences and joyful moments in life. Do not look at what arises as good or bad, positive, or negative - just life as it is.
As the quote from iRest founder Richard Miller so eloquently states, life is simpler when we accept these human moments just as they are, and more importantly, just as we are. Know that these transformative moments will take practice, and collaborating with these messengers is like learning to ride a bike, first with four wheels, and then two. The tools of iRest assist us in navigating life in a more easeful manner. As you embark on this journey, Dr. Miller offers the following words of wisdom: "Always do your best." Until next time -
Namaste,
Tim
Image source: Kevin Grieve (Unsplash)