OURS IS NOT TO JUDGE
Image source: Alexas_Fotos (Unsplash)
"Walk a mile in my shoes. See what I see. Hear what I hear. Feel what I feel. Then maybe you will understand why I do what I do. Until then, don't judge me." - Unknown.
Last week, I had a conversation with another gentleman, and we discussed the struggles, trials, and tribulations of being human, as well as the journey we undertake on this Earth. Although we walk together on a communal path, each of us carries a different yoke. I told him that ours is not to judge, but to honor each other's place in this world.
When meeting and getting to know another person, different perspectives will emerge as the relationship develops. Another's perspective may clash with our own, but that does not mean we should turn away from or not honor their journey. Worldviews emerge through our conditioning, which includes cultural, familial, educational, and religious influences, among others. This story behind the story is what makes us unique. Not everyone will look, think, or act like us. Judgment arises from differences. Meet people where they are, and honor them, not judge them. The path to non-judgmental living begins with each of us as individuals.
If there is anything I have learned in all my years on this planet, it is that I can be my own best enemy, my own harshest critic. As you move about your day, bring awareness to how you judge yourself. One of the hallmarks is negative self-talk. I am very skilled at verbally punishing myself when life throws obstacles in my path. When things do not go as planned, I blame myself. Try as I might to course correct, it may take a lifetime of education. I am learning to offer self-compassion and step back into my imperfect being.
Each time an emotion arises, I step back from this sensation and observe it as if it were a piece of art. What does it look like, feel like, and what is this messenger asking of me? Each emotion, sensation, or thought that arises pairs itself with an innate and appropriate response. I have also learned that to recognize the message takes practice, practice, practice. I will ask, "What are the subtle sensations that surface before the full felt sense of the emotion emerges?" It could be a sensation of warmth before anger. Working at a somatic level takes patience - a virtue I have yet to master. When frustration arrives, I remind myself that I am only human.
Image source: Dave Lowe (Unsplash)
I offer these concluding thoughts to you, my readers. When self-judgment arises, offer yourself a dose of self-compassion, and let go of that which no longer serves you. If we work with ourselves in this manner first, it can be easier to greet others where they are. Remember, ours is not to judge, but honor. I will frame this post with a quote from Wayne Dyer, who said, "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." Until next time -
Namaste,
Tim