Don’t Forget-Move Forward
Image Source: Richard Bell (Unsplash)
“The tighter we cling to our grief, the bigger shadow our sorrow casts behind us.” - Mo Brings Plenty.
For over ten years, I have participated in an X chat for those who have been traumatized. Last week, the topic centered on moving forward in the face of a loss - be it a person, animal, job, relationship - the absence of something in our lives. One of the participants (a war veteran) stated that he cannot move forward because that would signify that he will have to forget the brothers and sisters in arms who did not return home from the battle.
Recently, in the community where I live, many of us have experienced the loss of loved ones or pets - a shared common ground. As I reflect on the veteran’s statement and these recent losses, I have come to the following conclusion: moving forward does not mean forgetting. Moving forward means honoring the time we shared on this earth with those who have transitioned from this world, whether through traditions, recipes, good times and bad, and wisdom handed down from generation to generation. I believe this will help us to release the big shadow of sorrow that Mo spoke of in a recent episode of Marshals.
Years ago, on an episode of Chicago Fire titled Forgiving, Relentless, Unconditional, firefighter Christopher Herrmann struggled with the death of a young child whom he was unable to rescue from a fire. When I saw this episode, I wrestled with similar feelings of guilt and grief for those I was unable to save during my years as a firefighter and paramedic. I can say with certainty that this grief, this guilt, affected me physically, mentally, and emotionally, the tighter I held on. Eventually, I learned to honor my own journey and that of those I was unable to help. The words of wisdom at the end of this episode gave me space to move forward without forgetting these human experiences.
The episode concluded with the fictional chaplain of the Chicago FD, Father Orlovsky, delivering the eulogy of the child who died in the fire. I now share this powerful statement with you, hoping that you, too, can find solace in any loss you may have experienced or are currently experiencing.
Image Source: Sunguk Kim (Unsplash)
“I want to talk with you today about a subject that touches every one of us. Loss. Sometimes we are faced with things we think we just can't handle... The death of a loved one, a father, a child, and we strive to find the reason behind it all. And when those reasons don't make sense, we question God. We look up, and we say, "God, how could You do this to us? "How can you put so much on our plate?" But we're not operating on God's timetable, are we? We don't understand God's plan. How can we? And let me tell you, this is where faith comes in. Faith can help us see His message in our own lives. Perhaps this loss is there to teach us not to take the ones we love for granted, to cherish the simple, mundane moments, to love others as fiercely and as bravely and as compassionately as we can. And in that love, human love, forgiving, relentless, unconditional love, you'll find peace.”
Until next time -
Namaste,
Tim