Pain, Loss, and a Love That Endures

Image source: Eleonora Patricola (Unsplash)

It has been a while since I have posted to this blog. Sometimes, a break is needed to exhale, sit in stillness, and wait for that next inspiration. I found that inspiration in Taylor Sheridan’s Yellowstone series, 1883, and Dutton Ranch, both of which explore pain, loss, and enduring love.

In 1883, former Civil War Captain Shea Brennan and Elsa Dutton shared a quiet moment in their grief. In the premiere episode of this miniseries, Brennan lost both his wife and daughter to smallpox. Later, he considered suicide to ease his pain. His friend Thomas urged him to stay in this world, and he did. Several episodes later, eighteen-year-old Elsa Dutton lost her new fiancé, who died in a gunfight.

During a particular scene, Brennan walks upon Elsa, who is contemplating her own death by suicide. Elsa has a pistol in her hand, preparing to leave this world. Shea empathizes with Elsa’s grief and says that, although their grief is different, he understands her experience. He continues to say that he no longer has anyone to love or who loves him, but Elsa still does because she has her family. This exchange makes the lesson clear: grief can differ, but love gives us a reason to live. Love remains the central takeaway.

Shea Brennan tells Elsa that he is still breathing because he is going to the ocean on the Oregon Coast. She questions this puzzling statement, and Shea shares something he learned from an Apache scout. The scout said that when you love someone, you trade souls with them, and when that person dies, you keep a piece of them, and they keep a piece of you. Elsa, still confused, is soon to become enlightened by this truth about enduring love.

Brennan continues the lesson by telling Elsa that it was his wife’s dream to reach the coast, and he will honor her dream by sitting on the beach once he arrives in Oregon. Shea believes that, although his wife is physically gone from this Earth, she can still see the world through his eyes because of their soul-to-soul connection. The scene concludes with Brennan telling Elsa that her deceased fiancé remains a part of her and can see the world through her eyes. The central takeaway is that love endures despite pain, loss, and grief. I never thought about moving forward from loss in such a profound way. I am grateful to have been gifted the opportunity to watch this episode, as it is comforting to know I can be the eyes for another who is no longer with me.

Image source: Brett Jordan (Unsplash)

A recent episode of Dutton Ranch also explored the theme of loss, pain, and moving forward in life despite these circumstances. One of the principal characters, Rip Wheeler, has a discussion with a young man named Carter Green, who was orphaned when his father died of a heroin overdose, and his mother abandoned him at an early age. Rip and his wife, Beth Dutton, informally adopted Carter when they lived in Montana.

In this Dutton Ranch scene, Carter is lamenting his fate and tells Rip that he and Beth are not his real parents. Carter intends to leave the ranch, now located in Texas, and strike out on his own. Rip can empathize with Carter, as he grew up in similar circumstances before being employed by John Dutton at Yellowstone Ranch in Montana. In the following monologue, Rip offers Carter his hard-won wisdom about pain:

“Carter, I’ve lost more than I’ve won in this life. But I’ve learned more from my failures than any success. We don’t get to choose the pain, but we get to choose how we build from it.”

As humans, we will all experience pain, loss, and grief. However, we have a responsibility to ourselves, our inner circle, and the world at large to grow and move forward. The central takeaway is that we can honor those we have lost by carrying their memory with us and moving onward. I have experienced much loss and pain in my lifetime, and I take comfort in knowing and believing in the Apache scout’s view about death and separation, that I can be the eyes for those who are no longer with me. We will forever have connected souls that make this possible. I invite you all to join me in being another soul’s eyes. Until next time -

Namaste,

Tim