CARRY ON

Image source: Mark Pell (Unsplash)

"Gone too soon but left a song. Passed a torch to carry on. As long as people sing along, you'll live on and on and on." - Zac Brown and Mac McAnally.

Next week, we will be celebrating Thanksgiving, and I want to share my reflections on what I am most grateful for this season. The year 2025 has been a period of transition as many in mine and Judy's circle have lost a parent. We now share the common thread of having lost both parents who, in collaboration, gave us the gift of life. While it may seem odd that I choose these losses to write about, I now realize that I can find gratitude amongst the grief.

I am grateful that my parents brought me into this world full of hope and expectations, and they always did their best, even when the world around them became chaotic (the assassination of a President, the Vietnam War, home life, to name a few). Their children (my siblings and me) never went without food on the table, clothes on our backs, or a roof over our heads. Even though they struggled financially, Mom and Dad ensured our family's basic needs were met and they were always  present at the milestones of our lives. Growing up as a witness to their parental journey served as the foundation for my life in service to others as a first responder. For that I am grateful.

During both my time in the Army and my career as a firefighter/paramedic, Mom constantly worried about my safety. In my eulogy to her, I noted that worry is part of the "parental contract" she signed when accepting the responsibility of bringing life into this world, whether it was silent prayers for my well-being or checking in, even after I retired and moved to North Carolina - thanks, Mom, for never turning off your worrisome vigilance.

Even though Zac and Mac wrote the song "Pirates & Parrots" as an ode to their dearly departed friend, Jimmy Buffett, the quote at the beginning of this post is apropos of the passing of several parents. Speaking only for myself, the song my parents left (the gift of my life, life lessons, and love) now asks me to carry on by improving on the foundation they built, making this world a better place to live, and then passing that torch to the generations that follow - this is how they live on and on and on.

Dia de los Muertos (Roger Ce -Unsplash)

I just watched a recent episode of the ABC drama 9-1-1, titled Dia de los Muertos. The storyline revolved around the members of a Los Angeles fire department company grieving the loss of their beloved Captain, who died in the line of duty. One particular focus was on firefighter Eddie Diaz, whose grandmother died in this episode. In Mexican heritage, Día de los Muertos is a two-day (November 1st and 2nd) celebration that honors those who have gone before us to the afterlife—day one honors deceased children, and day two, deceased adults. At the end of the episode, Eddie voices over some very poignant words that tie in both the loss of his grandmother as well as patients/victims whom he could not save. Here are his words of wisdom:

"I know death. I've seen it. Felt it. Fought it. I've saved some people I never really knew, and lost others whose names I'll never forget. One way or another, they all haunt you."

"Tonight, they say the veil is thin. That the dead walk among us, if only for a little while. Is that just something we tell ourselves to ease the ache? Or is it real?"

"Do they stay with us, somehow? Hear us when we speak their names?"

And this last line is the most prophetic of all:

"Are they really gone if we still hold them in our hearts? If we remember?"

So, my dear readers, if anything you take away from this post, take away the last line in Eddie Diaz's monologue. Until next time -

Namaste,

Tim

As I said earlier, Zac Brown and Mac McAnally wrote Pirates & Parrots in honor of Jimmy Buffett, but it also applies to those we have lost but gave us the gift of life to carry on. Incidentally, the phrase "carry on," when used in a military context, means to continue with your assigned mission. Take a listen and carry on, my friends.

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